Solo Parents...Twice the Love…Triple the Blessings

This poster on the Feast Alabang Solo Ministry Facebook wall sums up what it’s like to be a solo parent. We carry the burden alone so the rewards of raising our children are returned to us in double portions.

It’s stressful and tiring to be a solo parent. But not a trace of that was seen on the faces of 78 happy moms (including 10 from Feast Bataan) who gathered for the Solo Parents Retreat on October 18 and 19, 2014 at the Angels’ Hills Retreat and Formation Center in Tagaytay.

It was a cool weekend and it rained – with an abundance of blessings.

Blessing #1

The people who organized and conducted the retreat.

They made the experience something we will remember as a rejuvenating break in our hectic solo mom schedules:

• Juvy Ramirez, Solo Ministry head, and her Core Group
• Cris & Lani de Guzman, Discipleship Pillar heads
• Fr. GC Carandang, retreat master
• Bro Arun Gogna, guest speaker

Blessing #2

The fun, the laughter and the new friends.

It’s an all-female retreat, so tears were expected. We had trials to share and insights to reflect on. But the laughter, the singing, the dancing and the camaraderie overshadowed everything else.

We rollicked with glee during group activities like the alien invasion – an exercise that showed just how confused the picture gets when we don’t communicate.

We danced with abandon – during worship, during the retreat proper and during the impromptu Sunday morning exercise. We zumba-ed and swayed like the Atomic Bomb Dancers that we felt we were.  

And, we found sisters to share our lives with. Some have taken the solo journey before us while others are just taking the first steps.

Blessing #3

This last one is personal – the anointing to lead a spirit-filled worship.

It was a wish whispered by my heart that was granted, not a privilege I asked for but was freely given. I was honored yet anxious about it because I didn’t know the arrangements about the music. I didn’t want to assault the attendees’ ears with my solo singing so I prayed to the Lord for angels who will sing with me – heavenly or earthly, I left it up to Him.  I got my angels: the keyboardist and 2 music ministers. Not only that, God gave me a bonus, a dance minister, to rev up the worship.    

The retreat’s blessings are God’s reminders that we have a special place in His heart. We may stand solo but we get double the love and a host (many times not just three) of God’s graces.

*Photos courtesy of Annabelle Ignacio 

A Memory Loss

So they said to him, “Who are you?” Jesus said to them, “What I told you from the beginning. I have much to say about you in condemnation…” – John 8:25-26

Sometimes we experience temporary memory loss at the most embarrassing times. You meet a person you know and when you attempt to introduce this person to your companion, you draw a mental blank. You absolutely cannot remember his or her name and you cannot do the unthinkable and ask, “Who are you?”

This happened to me a couple of times. The most embarrassing was when I remembered the name of the person I met on the street and forgot the name of my companion. I had to endure the embarrassment longer as we were taking the ride home together.

Physical memory loss, at most, is just embarrassing. Spiritual memory loss is tragic as you lose more than just your “face”. What causes spiritual memory loss? I’d say pride does.

Let me tell you 2 stories to illustrate my point:

• My Papa had a town mate who knew him quite well. She even used to call him kuya. Papa was a friend of her sibling. She migrated to the U.S.A. and made it big there. When Papa introduced himself to her when they saw each other again in the States, she said, “Who are you? Do I know you?”

• I have a friend who used to be thoughtful and nice. As he rose in stature, he seemed to have experienced a severe memory loss about how he got to where he was and the other people who made a mark before him. Now I want to throttle him until the bad spirits depart and ask him, “Who are you and what have you done to my friend?”

There are times when we act like the Pharisees, like we do not know Jesus at all. We fail to recognize His hand in the good fortune that comes our way. We forget that all the success and blessings in our lives came from Him. Let us always remember who Jesus is and live like Him so that when we meet Him at the pearly gates He will not ask, “Who are you? Do I know you?”

Discordant Notes

“Discord is the devil’s tool to prevent service for God from being delivered.”

This message clanged like a gong ripping through the quiet of my prayer time. It was a call to action and God’s prodding for me to write another guideline.

(Yes, Lord, I get it already. You let these things happen to hustle me into writing.)

I ignored His first poke to write this blog. The blessing of cool-headed and supportive leaders stilled turbulent waters so there was not much compulsion to write. Besides I had just written #6. God usually lets me catch my breath before He zaps me with the next guideline.

But then He sent a second poke, no erase that…call it a shake that rattled my teeth a bit (when I have to forego my rare chance of going to the gym, it’s a teeth-rattling experience). Plans for the gym were scrapped as I needed to exercise my peacemaking abilities instead.

I had to step in right away because it happened before. It was probably my fault it recurred because I was too busy to really sit down and talk with the parties involved right after the last incident.

Lesson learned: resolve issues as early as possible. When resolution is delayed or the conflict is glossed over, there is a danger that bad feelings will fester. Discord will erupt and prevent people from working together to do God’s appointed task.

John Maxwell cited St. Paul’s message from Philippians 4:2 in his Leadership devotional to stress the importance of teamwork: “I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord.” Maxwell said,” The term he uses connotes harmony. Singing in harmony doesn’t mean singing in unison. Players should play different positions on a team. Harmony means their efforts complement the efforts of others, rather than conflict with them.”

But even with the best intentions and hearts for service, discord will erupt in a community because of the human factor. There is no perfect community with perfect servants. It is then the servant leader’s task to spot discordant notes early on and take measures to restore harmony ASAP.

And there you have Guideline #7 for my Manual for Servant Leaders Who Insanely Love to Serve God Despite Harassments and Frustrations: Guard against discord by nipping it in the bud.

There Must Be a Better Way to Celebrate Christmas

My son getting pulled over for running a YELLOW light by a PEATC cop angling for payback for working on Christmas Day was the last straw. It capped a month of barreling through a sea of Divisoria shoppers while weight lifting two or three or four heavy bags; wrapping gifts (I didn’t make it on time), cooking and preparing costumes till the dawn mass bells rang; and racking my sleep deprived brain for scripts.

I am now officially a non-fan of the Christmas season.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not joining Scrooge and saying, “Bah, humbug!” to Christmas. I’m not swearing off all the trappings and the decorations (I would love to dress up my home more if only I had the time).

I still love the reason for this season deeply and passionately. I’m still grateful to the Lord for the great gift of His Son.

What I don’t like is pressure and hassle that the celebration brings. Do we even remember who it’s all for in the mad rush to buy gifts, in practicing for Christmas presentations and in budgeting for the one hundred and one charitable causes that mushroom in December?

What I’m saying is there must be a better way to celebrate Jesus’ birthday. I’m looking for something more intimate and serene. A celebration where He is the important one. A celebration where He does not get substituted by other people and events.

So here I sit in the quiet of the 26th – a lull before the revelry of the New Year brings on another hectic round of wrapping gifts (yup, still doing that), partying and cooking – pondering on how I can honor the celebrant properly.

Maybe next year I can celebrate Christmas on the Feast of the Annunciation. After all life begins in the womb and this was when Mary was told she will be the mother of the Son of God – “And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name Him Jesus.” (Luke 1:31)

That will certainly be stress-less as only Jesus and I will be in His party. I can go on a personal retreat so we can really hang out and talk.

As for the Christmas gifts, I still have to give my family gifts on Christmas because the children look forward to that in our gatherings. But as for my friends and people I work or serve with, I want to think of a creative way to get around that.

I can give my Christmas gifts on their birthdays. That way my gift giving will be spaced out throughout the year and I can spend more time honoring the celebrant in December. I can also use the extra time to savor the memory of each blessing He has gifted me with for the year.

Or maybe I can pick another special holy day to give out my Christmas gifts. Let me think about that. I should come up with something by New Year’s Day because my fondest wish is to be able to enjoy the Christmas season next year and be a fan again.

From Glory to Glory to Glory (Day 1)

Top Ten

I was tired and harassed. The difficulties were piling up as I wasn’t just singing with the Grand Feast choir, I was also Production Manager for the Faith Stream.

But I was also excited! As I wrote in my last blog, I know without a doubt that the trials of serving at the Kerygma Conference will eventually bring a shower of blessings. The Lord cannot be out-given.

Little did I expect that God will send His blessings via express delivery.

The day before KCon, I was drowning in preparations for the Faith Stream: meeting, distributing t-shirts and IDs, printing car passes and signage, lists, tasks, etc., etc., etc. In the midst of all these, my elder son called and said, “Mom, guess what I’m a teacher!” I said, “Of course you are, sweetie.” He works as a pre-school teacher.

He said, “No Mom, I’m a real teacher.” Then I got it. On September 25, 2011, he took the Licensure Examination for Teachers. He passed! We had been praying about this and here was our answered prayer.

Then I asked, “Are you in the top ten?” He said he was the first to finish when he took the exam thus my hope that he will land in that magic circle. He didn’t think so. He didn’t notice his name.

I was fine with it. It was a big blessing already as only 22.68% who took the exam for elementary teachers made it.

But last Friday after the Leadership Stream, I saw 2 missed calls from him. When I returned his call, he said a friend had congratulated him on Facebook. It was only then he found out he placed seventh! Or, as my father pointed out, just 1.6 points less than the topnotcher.

Even before I got into the thick of service for KCon, God already sent a delightful surprise. It was more than what we prayed for.

Serving God in itself is glorious. It becomes even more so when He beats you to the draw.

Long Term Plan

The inspiration came from an incident that happened in November 2009. I wrote about it in December 2010. On October 12, 2011, the date of my Didache reflection, two friends (J and Gina) commented on the amazing coincidence that it came out on that particular day.

The last date in this trilogy was the birthday of Reggie, a brother in our community. It was a special celebration – a thanksgiving for a blessed life. To honor him and as a gift for a man who has almost everything, we prepared a dance.

We threw all dignity to the wind for the love of a brother. We were jokingly threatened to be disowned by other members of the community if we tarnish the good name of Feast Alabang. And since some of the people who were going to perform our Grease number were no longer strangers to arthritis and high blood pressure, disownment was a huge possibility.

By the grace of God, we pulled it off. The cheers and enthusiastic applause by the audience assured we don’t have to say we belong to Feast Marilao or some other Feast.

Was it just an amazing coincidence or a divine long term plan that my reflection came out on that day? I’d say the second because the Sunday immediately after the party, our worship leader even used the coincidence in his exhortation. With God’s perfect timing, people are still being blessed by an incident that happened two years ago.

My October 12 Didache reflection:

A CHORUS LINE

“Woe to you, Pharisees! You love the seat of honor in synagogues and greetings in marketplaces.” – Luke 11: 43

I love performing. That’s the reason why I joined the glee club in college. Singing and dancing onstage under the lights, in front of big applauding crowds, was the highlight of my college life.

When I joined Light of Jesus, my ministry of choice was, naturally, music. Later, our chapter’s Music Ministry was absorbed into the South Feast in Alabang. I noticed that pride was an issue in the beginning. We were like Pharisees who loved the limelight. Feelings were hurt over lead singer assignments; some members thought they were too good to be taught. But as our service increased, pride slowly decreased.

Joining the chorus at the 2009 Kerygma Conference was a humbling experience for many of us. It was a big chorus. Those of us in the third row were not seen by the audience or on camera. But more than performing in front of a huge crowd in Araneta, our biggest thrill was singing for the Lord and touching the people there. It didn’t matter to me that only a fourth of my face was seen in the official photos. I knew from where He sat, the Lord could see us.

Real Friends, Real Heroes

What is friendship? Is it just the laughter and a lot of time spent together? Is it just shared experiences and bonding moments?

That’s just froth that merrily bubbles over the deeper waters of true friendship.

How can one tell who your real friends are? Here’s something I wrote about my favorite people in the world.

Real Friends…

…Burn the phone wires until their ears have gone flat

from your stories, your gripes and your non-stop chat.

…Look at you clearly and are honest enough

to tell you your fashion sense took the day off.

…Bop you and scold you and make sure that you don’t

give in to that dim-witted thing that you want.

…Defend you from critics when brickbats abound.

…Say good things about you when you’re not around.

…Feel no envy when it’s your moment to shine;

happy not hurt just to cheer from the sideline.

If a hero is one who dies to oneself,

then real friends are heroes – ‘tis truth in itself.

Just as St. Paul had a faithful friend in Luke, I am blessed with real friends. I thank God today for that blessing and priceless treasure.

“Luke is the only one with me.” – 2 Timothy 4:11

From Companion, October 18, 2011: “To have a faithful friend like Luke is a wonderful gift from God and an inestimable treasure.”

Planking Biblical-style

No, I’m not talking about the “Lying Down Game” which is the current rage today of people lying face down as stiff as a wooden plank. It’s also not the political planking recently used in a protest action that caused one lawmaker to file the “Anti-Planking Act of 2011.”

I’m talking about planking in the bible. Specifically in Matthew 7:3 –

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

It’s a more dangerous kind of game. The kind that blots souls and destroys relationships.

Planking in the bible is about always seeing the negative in other people. Overly-critical people constantly point out what is wrong with others instead of appreciating what is right. Funny thing is these critics aren’t flawless in the first place. And let me say that at times, I too am guilty of this – either by my own instigation or I get roped into the critique (oo nga, oo nga). [Note to self: avoid planking – dangerous to your health.]

Just last night I witnessed two incidents of planking – both in the biblical sense. One was directed at me as emcee of the Roots seminar for doing something taught in an emceeing workshop (ranting? – hehehe). The other was directed at our guest worship leader just because her worship was slightly different from ours.

The second planking reminded me of our recent Inter-Feast Music Ministry Gathering*. Among other things, George Gabriel talked about pride – the pitfall that music ministers should avoid. He said that many times we think that the way we do things in our community or in our particular Feast is better than the way others do it. That kind of thinking causes disunity and has no place in a Christian community.

Let me end by focusing on the positive instead. I praise and thank the Lord for my blessings - the compliments and kind words I received last night from many other people not into the biblical game of planking.

* Allow me to add a footnote about the Inter-Feast Music Ministry Gathering held on September 21, 2011 at the Makati Feast venue. I will describe it in one word: AWESOME. Just imagine around 350 music ministers singing and dancing in praise of our awesome God. What touched me the most was the simple worship – just George and Gigi de Jesus with a guitar onstage. It could have been grandiose what with all the Music Ministries from different Feasts present. But as George quoted Arun, “Worship is when there is nothing else.” No frills, no artistry…just you and God.

*Thanks to Emy Cañete for the Inter Feast Music photo.

Lucky Me

“Do not work for food that perishes but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you.” – John 6:27

“Walang suwerte (unlucky)”. This was a balikbayan uncle’s recent label for me. He was probably moved with pity in what he perceived to be my lot in life. I was widowed at a very young age. My newfound career is in its infancy so I’m obviously not rolling in money (yet). Status. Career. Wealth. These were his parameters for a charmed life. In his world, the “lucky” ones were his nieces on my aunt’s side of the family. A lucky niece (very much like Cinderella) married into one of the richest families in the country, has successful businesses and is insanely wealthy. There are other nieces gainfully employed in airline or realty companies and who enjoy good salary and great benefits. He seemed perplexed that I don’t go to the office and barely comprehended that my work was online. No wonder he branded me “unlucky”.

Years ago I would probably have agreed with him and proceeded to indulge in a bout of self-pity. But even I was surprised with my quick rejoinder, “Oh no, I’m actually very lucky. I’m super blessed!” I guess my mindset changed after being in community for 8 years and actively serving in Feast Alabang for close to 2 years. The teachings I have received in all that time has changed my perception of luck. I have learned to appreciate the blessings that I enjoy: children, parents, a serene family life, loving and supportive friends in community, doing work that I love and am good at, a comfortable home, abundant provisions, good health and many more that I don’t have the time to list here. In the current Feast series, Seasons, we were taught that Spring is a time to plant and we should not envy others who may already be in other seasons in their life. My harvest is still coming. So in my world, I consider myself lucky.

Above all these is the fact that I am living a life close to God. Hey, I’m still a work in progress so I’m far from perfect but the lucky thing is that my construction is in the hands of THE Master Planner. Another thing I learned is we need to plant ourselves close to the stream or the Blesser. I actually felt sad for my uncle because in our conversation I realized that he does not actively seek God. Lucky me, I’m working for the one who blesses me and for food that endures for eternal life.

I Am…Blessed

Fatima Soriano's laughter tinkled like the chimes in my lanai stirred by a gentle breeze of hope. Her joy resonated at the slightest hint of humor or an "alleluia" moment. How could she exude so much joy when she wouldn't be able to do as other soon-to-be debutantes like her would? She wouldn't be able to marvel at the colors of her gown, behold a frothy birthday cake or pirouette at her cotillion. She is blind and had endured end stage renal disease with its attendant 5-a-day dialysis. But there she was - a charming bundle of serenity though afflicted with a condition that would make many people bitter. (I felt shame as I remember the many times I've complained over lesser things.) Even the fact that she couldn't accept the corneas of AJ Perez did not dampen her spirit (it was retinas she needed you see). She also graciously posed for pictures with fans even if she was already tired from praying over the sick and the troubled.

And the girl could sing. Multiply her about a dozen or so times and one can imagine what a choir of angels would sound like. Our guest speaker, Fr. Jerry Orbos, brought Fatima with him on Black Saturday, Day 3 of I Am…Jesus, the Way, the Truth and the Life, Feast Alabang's Lenten Recollection. Listening to her was a privilege. Serving as her and Fr. Jerry's PA (program assistant, personal assistant or parang alalay ) was a blessing.

Being their PA was as much of a privilege as being one of the emcees on Holy Thursday. That was a blessing too - I did not fall, trip, faint, embarrass myself or even get the jitters in front of a crowd of more than 1,500 that filled the San Beda Alabang Chapel to overflowing. Our pre-event anointing and the prayers of our Intercessory Ministry must've been so powerful, my co-host, Israel, and I survived unscathed. Day 1 of the recollection also blessed us with deep reflections sandwiched between slices of hilarity given by our Feast builder, Arun Gogna, and Fr. Erick Santos.

I regret that I missed Day 2 of the recollection on Good Friday with Kerygma preacher Jon Escoto and Fr. Jade Licuanan. But I did not want to break a family tradition that we've practiced for 25 years - Visita Iglesia. It was a blessing to tick off another year. The ritual started with just my late husband and me when I was heavy with our first child. Then our babies in strollers, their yayas and my parents joined us. The tradition remained anchored amidst waves of change - the loss of my husband, the yayas gone with the wind and my sons going from toddlers running around the Stations of the Cross to young boys leading the prayers to grown-ups driving for us to 7 churches.

I ended the Lenten season with a rousing Easter Sunday together with my Light of Jesus (LOJ) Family. All the Feasts in Metro Manila and neighboring provinces gathered for "Full Life", LOJ's Grand Easter Celebration in SMX. Bo Sanchez declared, "You will not stay in Good Friday forever. Sunday is coming!" That, I claim, as I feel I am already experiencing Saturday with the many blessings knocking at my door. They just need to step in so I can proclaim, "Sunday is here!"

Love Duplicated

The email moved me. It was an appeal to help a brother from another Feast with his expenses for a kidney transplant. He dropped by our center once as he just came from his dialysis nearby. He was a pleasant man and his condition saddened me. I wanted so much to help. I marked the email “unread” so I won’t forget and mentally set aside an amount to give.

Another message came into my inbox. This time it was a request for prayers for one of my ministry member’s father. He needed an emergency operation. Aside from offering prayers I also felt God’s prodding to help in a more practical way. All I had left in my budget for love offering was the amount I already earmarked for the first appeal. I planned to half it so I can give both but felt that was too paltry to make a difference. I decided to give it all to my member. She was closer to my heart.

While singing with the choir that Sunday, I espied the brother needing the transplant among the attendees. My heart bled. I had no more to give. I offered a silent prayer for him and lifted my wish to the Lord to grant me the ability to help. As we sang during worship, the Lord impressed on me to go ahead and give what I had planned anyway. I had the money stashed in my wallet marked with a mental note: “For extreme emergency only. Burn in hell if you use this for frivolities.” That was what I decided to donate.

Soon after, I received two dividend checks and a small windfall from my balikbayan uncle. Ten percent of these blessings was exactly the amount of my emergency stash that I donated. The Lord duplicated my love offering like the loaves and fishes. He granted my wish to be able to love more people in practical ways.

A Stroll in a Prayer Garden

The road snaked – a couple of turns too many for my comfort. Panic mode. I left my motion sickness pills at home. I didn't know I’d need them. Nobody said anything about a zigzag to Infanta, Quezon. The driver said there are actually two sets of zigzags. I’m doomed.

I whipped out my quantum necklace at my cousin Belle’s prodding. This better work or I’m returning it. I pressed it to my wrist right above the pulse. That’s supposed to be the acupressure point to combat motion sickness. What do you know, it worked! Whether it was the necklace or the acupressure that held the dizziness at bay, I didn’t care. All I cared about was being able to enjoy the scenery in the town of Real where the seashore hugged the road like a besotted lover. The road and the beach lay side by side for quite a stretch giving us a panoramic view of waves crashing on sand.

The way to my aunt’s Pag-ibig Prayer Garden is like life’s journey. There are many twists and turns. You find relief when it straightens up only to find another set of trials that turn your stomach inside out. Then you reach the end. It’s heaven – there is peace, there is serenity, there is beauty that gives a comforting embrace.

At the Prayer Garden, our Lord welcomed us to the “Upper Room” where he sat alone at the table. Untypical of the Last Supper, this one invites twelve “apostles” to sit with Him. Guests become part of the picture instead of just being on the outside looking in on the first Eucharist. One can even take a nap on the Lord’s lap after a meal – like a child on a parent’s knee.

And I needed that nap. The meal was sumptuous with freshly caught crabs, prawns and giant talakitok. Belle & I even got an after dessert treat – the chance to once again taste katmon, a tart fruit from our childhood found only in Quezon (I think).

Later, we strolled around the garden and merged into biblical and other saintly scenes:

Slept with the apostles as Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane;

Stood as our Lord’s ninang at His baptism in the Jordan;

Sat with Mary as she watched Joseph and Jesus at play;

Read with St. Clare as she reviews her Rule of Life, the first monastic rule reputed to be the first written by a woman;

Marveled at St. Peter’s attempt to walk with Jesus on water.

The Prayer Garden not only soothes and refreshes ones faith, it also inspires reflection.

Hope Afloat

Walking on water.

Strong wind swirls waves. Faith submerges.

His hand a lifeline.

My Lord calms the raging storm,

washes away regret. Hope.

A Time of Refreshing

“We have a meeting tonight.” Sigh. “There’s a new assignment for Media Ministry.” Whimper. “Sis, can you help with this project?” Groan. Much as I love serving at the Feast Alabang I still felt the early warning signs of service fatigue like a tsunami alert.

But you know that passage in the Bible that says the Lord cannot be out-given? Once again this truth manifested in a wonderful way when I went to Baguio last week.

I was hesitant to join the trip. Reason # 1: the added expense. (Remember me, the obsessive-compulsive budgeter?) Reason # 2: our numbers dwindled as Mar. 17 approached. How much fun can it be with just a handful joining Bro Arun and his family for his Lenten Recollection talks? Reason # 3: our car is in the province. A taxi would be my ride from our drop-off point. Not a nice scenario when I reviewed my shopping list.

With no graceful way to back out, I had to go. Besides, it’s been 22 (or is it 23?) years since I went up to the City of Pines. My husband was still alive, my sons were still toddlers and Hyatt Terraces was still the place to stay. And my last criteria for going on trips with zigzags, boat or plane rides was met. My motion sickness pills that I can only get from the U.S. have not expired.

Going was an inspired decision. Wave after wave of blessings engulfed our trip. I only have one word to describe it – perfect. There’s no other word fit for this gift from God.

Perfect, because our reduced number allowed us to fit into one van. Travelling together was more fun. There was also no hassle coordinating different vehicles. Most of all, it was a chance to bond with people I usually see only during service and community activities. It was a road trip punctuated with lots of laughter – funny catch phrases like “Bente pesos!” from our UKay queen and threats to provide me with a catheter the next time we travel. The last issue made hair-raising by suspected ghostly encounters in the Recoletos’ toilet.

Perfect, because of the generous hearts that treated us to dinner on both nights (Don Henrico's & Rose Bowl) and a sumptuous buffet breakfast at Baguio Country Club. We were like overstuffed sausages ready to burst but we just had to try everything. Several blueberry Danish pastries had my name on them and I couldn’t resist their sinful temptation.

Perfect, because it was not just a pleasure trip but also a chance to serve in ways we don’t normally do at the Feast Alabang. Chris and Mandy danced during Bro Arun’s talk in front of a host of strangers. Something they only do with family and friends. Lallaine, Cora, Lani, Josie and I were salesgirls at the book table. We prayed that almost all the books and CDs will be sold to have space for the jams, peanut brittle, brooms, vegetables and my favorite succulent strawberries that we can’t leave Baguio without. God answered that prayer. The book table was mobbed.

We all felt the same way – it was a blessings-filled trip. And the fun didn’t stop in Baguio. Lunch at Isdaan in Gerona, Tarlac was wacky with crazy poses and serenades by the Salbabida Boys and the Cumbancheros. The second group sent us into stitches with their version of “ABC” and “Ten Litter Indians” for Helene and Yohan.

There was more blessings overflow. My total expenses fell way below my budget. IC, Chris & Lani’s son, saved me from lugging all my extra baggage by giving me a lift home. To top it all, my team heads and members stepped in and ably steered the Media Ministry in my absence.

Perfect trip. Abundant blessings. It was a time of refreshing for a tired soul. I’m now “Happy to serve” (clap, clap) again. Not just in my beloved Feast Alabang but also in Feast Vietnam and Feast Bohol. Wink.

Building a Team, Building a FAMMily

Scene 1:

Gaily colored blindfolds. My team got pink ones – my favorite. With hands on the shoulder of the person in front, they followed me. Hold on, three got left behind. I ran back to get them.

Nine other teams like us gingerly navigated the grounds of the Metrogate Silang club house like caterpillars. At each stop, we were timed for the activity:

Scrounge for objects to put under given letters. Stop that ant – it goes under letter A.

Fill a pail using water bottles peppered with holes. Get drenched in the process.

Crawl like snakes in the grass through a minefield – this while blindfolded and just listening for directions. (It’s bad enough that I’m like one of our former presidents who jokesters say had to wear a wristband to tell his left from his right. I also had to direct my team members in mirror image – right, ay your left pala.)

Step on only 4 soft drink crates – all 7 to 8 different-sized members at the same time – to get to the finish line. Whew, our team made it in one go with planning and coordination.

The last blindfolded activity in the afternoon elicited screams and laughter. We even broke out in song – “Abundance of Rain” – when we heard water splashing nearby (we are with the Music Ministry after all). The swaying bridge encouraged tighter grips and more noise. Being a team leader in the morning and groping blindfolded in the afternoon gave me a different perspective. A follower this time, my instinct was still to find a way to keep the group intact. “I felt a hand rail. Grab it!” I tipped my friends as the bridge began to swing. This, I realized, is what team heads really do – lead and also follow.

“Trust your leader,” we were told. That’s the essence of the whole activity. For as we removed our blindfolds, we found out it was our Feast Builder who led us safely over the bridge.

Scene 2:

FAMMily (Feast Alabang Media Ministry family) members made it to the meeting place on time. The threat that the last ones to arrive will foot the bill for lunch motivated everybody. Violet withdrew her 100-egg offering to St. Claire and so there was rain. Scrap the zip line in Picnic Grove. Mike I. didn’t feel like doing that while holding an umbrella. Instead, the umbrellas were used in Tierra de Maria for photos under the rain.

But we were still blessed. The rain stopped as we rummaged for “treasures” in the ukay-ukay. We got great photos in Sonya’s Garden (with shots of my dream house – thanks to Osy, Mike T. & Jeps) and Caleruega after our lunch in Mahogany Market.

Where to hold our meeting? We thought the dimly-lit dining area in Caleruega was a blessing but we were politely told this was for retreatants only. The real blessing was the roof top which we had almost to ourselves. There was a cabana with a table and chairs, a curtain of light blue flowers over the walkway, a refreshing breeze, outdoor lighting and a great view. And then there’s my personal blessing: a great ministry – team heads and members – who not only give their best but are so much fun to be with.

Anticipated mass was in the foggy courtyard of the Little Souls Convent. Hugs kept each other warm. Dinner was a prelude to a ministry caring group – shared dreams and shared joy for a member’s answered prayer.

These are scenes from dawn to dusk of my past two Saturdays: the first from the Feast Alabang Events Pillar team building, the second from the Media Ministry meeting in Tagaytay. Both were relationship bridges. Bonds tightened. Friendships nourished. A team and a family strengthened.

Team LOJ All-Stars Huddle

There I was poised atop a monobloc chair in front of the gigantic Feast Builders’ tarp. Osy twisted around – down on her knees, face almost on the floor – her brand new DSLR camera angled for a shot. Our mission: make me look like I’m part of the big picture and do it quickly before a group from another Feast comes to pose. At that instant I wished I had a camera to take her picture, too. We must’ve been a funny sight.

But our carefree mood was not out of place in this carnival. The horde of servant-leaders in identical blue and white LOJ All-Stars jersey echoed our jubilation. And all the people milling around us were engaged in the national pastime of “Kodak-an”. I guess we all wanted to keep a piece of this happy memory – the 2011 Light of Jesus (LOJ) Leaders Assembly.

The morning of January 29, 2011 was a collage of different scenes. LOJ members in sportswear. Balloons shaped into kooky headpieces. Praise and worship at the Philippine Air Force Gym. The anointing by our “coaches” – Bro Bo Sanchez and the Feast Builders – as we prepare to score more goals. And what would a team huddle be without team pictures and a pep talk.

The pep talk was given by Ardy Abello, a motivational speaker who said, “Everything in life is about team work.” He gave 4 insights about teams that are winners:

1. Goal-driven teams will not settle for the good. They go for the great.

Having just finished visioning with my FAMMily (aka Feast Alabang Media Ministry), I felt confident that my go-getting, close-knit team is on the right track to doing great things.

2. Overcoming teams value discipline. Discipline of the mind, body and soul leads to creativity.

Here I got an affirmation about two of my philosophies – a) “Me” time is essential to a sound mind and body; and b) a fit body is a foundation of success. This is an area of struggle for me because some people think this is an alien philosophy I concocted just so I can escape my responsibilities and hang out in the gym at least twice a week.

3. Leading your team with positive influence is key.

A great lesson for me to apply to my team and even my children is that the mind is strengthened if it receives something positive or true.

4. Determination produces long-term results.

We all go through “Everest” experiences or difficult challenges but if we don’t quit midway, there will be no mountain high enough that we can’t conquer. Persevere, persevere, persevere! Got to keep that mantra going when I go through I-can’t-take-any-more-of-this times.

Together with these thoughts on teamwork and the countless pictures to remind us that we belong to one team, we left the huddle ready to start winning more points for Team LOJ.

Team Feast Alabang All-Stars with our "coaches" Arun Gogna and Bo Sanchez.

Minda’s Joie de Vivre

I will never forget the attire that won for her the Best Costume award at the 2009 Light of Jesus Servants’ Christmas party. She came as a Christmas tree. So did I and a couple of others, but hers was more outrageous. While I only had a small metal tree that I used as a head piece and Christmas ball earrings, she was decked out as the whole tree. She had poinsettias and glittery balls pinned on her shirt, a pointy hat with a big star on top, small wreaths for earrings and a scarf of fairy lights. Come judging time for the finalists, she had her lights plugged into the socket. She blew away the competition.

She was that game. She was lovably kooky. She had such a joy for life. It was fun to be with her during our Music Ministry practices, during our service for the Feast and in the Kerygma Conference. But she also had her serious side. There were times when she shared nuggets of wisdom with us as we waited for performances to start.

Minda Obatay will be dearly remembered as a helpful person. Her Caring Group mates shared that she always helped set up or clean up wherever their meetings were held like it was her own home. She was the same in our practices – making sure we all have something to eat during break times and raiding the kitchen when the food is short.

She helped even if she was not a member of the ministry tasked to do something. When we used to set-up the stage as part of our duties for the Creatives Ministry, she’d be setting up the backdrop even before the members arrived. She didn’t even belong to Creatives but helped out anyway just because she was there.

Last night, we said good-bye to this wonderful person at a community mass. All that time she was serving with us she had cancer. But you wouldn’t have noticed because of the energy she exerted in the things she did.

Cancer may have stricken her body but left her generous heart untouched. To the very end her thoughts were of giving. One of her last instructions to her husband was to find the tithes she had prepared before she was hospitalized and to give it to the community.

At the honoring, one of her sons said she was a good mother who never spanked them. At the back of the room, two of my community sisters and I wondered what our children would say about us. We can only hope they would have glowing praises as Minda’s son had for her.

Minda unabashedly praised the Lord. During worship her voice would ring out above the rest to honor and exalt Him. She must have delighted Jesus so much He wanted her in heaven already so she can sing Him praises before His throne.

Sadly, I only knew Minda for a short time, maybe two or three years. And I only served closely with her in the last year. But the little that I know of her has blessed me and infected me with joy. At a time when I am experiencing service fatigue, her life is a timely reminder for me to serve the Lord with gladness.

My Best Christmas Gifts

I remember that advertisement where the song slows down to a drone as if the cassette player was losing power. That’s exactly how I felt the last few days before Christmas – “Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la…la…la….la…..la……la” with the last few “las” sung in the Bass 2 range before fade out.

It wasn’t a jolly time at all with my fever, clogged nose and a cough that rivaled our neighbor’s yapping dog. I only felt fit enough to go shopping for my family’s Christmas gifts on the morning of the 24th. I thank God for the hypermart right outside our village gates. They had everything in my list. It also helped that I already knew what my family wanted or needed. Come Christmas Eve, they were pretty happy with what they got.

As for me, in spite of feeling awful because I was sick, it was a happy and blessed Christmas. I got the nicest gifts from my sons.

A few months ago, I had the same illness and I felt miserable. Not only was I sick, I couldn’t be sick. We had no house help so I was cooking and cleaning through my illness. My elder son was down in the dumps – he had a little of the bug I had plus he had no job. Sick and sad, he only managed to buy me my medicine. The younger one was struggling through his thesis. No help there either.

This time, my elder son was solicitous. He made me lie down when he found out I had fever. He brought me dinner and my medicine. Also set his phone alarm for the time I had to drink medicine again. Such bliss to be cared for when one is sick. TLC was my best Christmas gift number one.

Because he is now employed, he had gifts for the whole family. A shirt for his younger brother, a cap for Papa and a cookbook for Mama. And I got what I had been longing for – a Harry Potter CD (yes, my taste is juvenile). My collection is almost complete. Best Christmas gift number two.

My younger son didn’t have a material gift for us but what we got from him was thrilling and heartwarming. His award-winning thesis was shown on Knowledge Channel on Christmas day. The whole family was so proud to actually watch his work on TV. When the credits were rolling at the end, we got our Christmas gift from him. It said SPECIAL THANKS TO: me, his brother and my parents.

He is not an expressive person. You can only guess at what he feels. But that acknowledgment expressed the love that he doesn’t say out loud. It was my best Christmas gift number three.

I praise God for the paradox of Christmas. We celebrate our Lord’s birthday and yet He is the one who showers us with such wonderful gifts.

A Personal Worship

It was casually mentioned on our way home from the Kerygma Conference last Sunday that Belle, Josie and I were going to lead the worship for our Feast Alabang Servants’ Christmas party. I thought it was a big joke. “Hmmm,” I said to myself, “Cercado Sisters* minus 1, tander version. "Tander as in matanda, get it? Better yet, translate that to the more politically correct term – “mature”.

Although being a worship leader has been flitting around the fringes of my dreams, it was not something that really called me with a passion. Unlike Niko, our youngest worship leader, who clearly heard God’s promise that he will lead worship in the Feast, there was not even a whisper to me.

Besides, I was afraid I wouldn’t be porous enough for the Spirit to fill me. I have observed the really good worship leaders to be so soaked in the Holy Spirit that it just radiates from them to the whole congregation. As for me, I can be hard-hearted and hard-headed at times.

Then I remembered the prayer I say before I write anything – for my blog or for Didache or for Halo-Halong Hālo: “Lord, let me be a straw through which your blessings or message will flow to the people who need it today.” A straw is not porous. It just needs an entry and an exit point. My entry point is my mind which God enlightens and fills with wisdom. My exit points are my hands that write. All I do is open myself up for the Holy Spirit to use me as a channel – hard head and hard heart pushed to the sides to clear the flow.

That worship leader thing was just the joke that I thought it was after all. An idea miscommunicated along the way. But God woke me up at 5:00 a.m. that following Monday (it’s a holiday, Lord!!!) prodding me to write my worship. So here’s a writer’s personal worship – written not spoken, read not heard:

To end this year, I want to praise and thank God for the many blessings He has given me, my family and my Feast Alabang family.

When I started serving at the South Feast, my life was going nowhere. You know that saying, “When God closes a door, He opens a window”? I could not relate. My prayers were unanswered for so many years. I felt that after all the doors closed there was very little light coming in – only slivers of light from under a closed door or a glow at the very far end of a tunnel.

But I kept serving through harassments and financially lean times. When I was asked to join the igive.club, I jokingly said to Becky, “Pwede ba recibo na lang ng gastos ko sa Feast ang ilagay sa envelop?” (“Can I put receipts for expenses I incurred for the Feast inside the envelop instead?")

But God is a God who cannot be out-given. This year He has thrown open many doors and windows all at the same time:

This year my elder son graduated from college and got a job.

This year my younger son’s thesis won multiple awards (yup, he just won another award for his category in Animahenasyon, the Philippine Animation Festival, and was even in contention for the grand prize).

This year my father survived a medical emergency. This year both my parents celebrated their 80th birthdays.

This year my calling as a writer began to bear fruit: I now have a blog, My B.A.G. of Miracles. I was named feature editor of the magazine I write for, I became a Didache writer. And just last month, I was also asked to write for Kerygma Magazine. As a matter of fact, the January 2011 issue features an article I wrote.

This year the Feast Alabang Center was built blessing around 1,400 people each week. We have our own place. A place we call home.

This year the number of servants grew from the twenty-four that started South Feast to almost two hundred. We now know more people to love and to be loved by.

I, personally, and we as the Feast Alabang family have many, many things to thank God for. No one deserves all our praises more than You, Jesus. Lord, receive the honor that You’re due. Receive my offering of worship.

The sun cannot compare

To the glory of Your love

There is no shadow in Your presence

No mortal man would dare

To stand before Your throne

Before the Holy One of heaven

It's only by Your blood

And it's only through Your mercy

Lord I come

I bring an offering of worship to my King

No one on earth deserves the praises that I sing

Jesus may You receive the honor that You're due

O Lord I bring an offering to You

O Lord I bring an offering to You

– Offering , Paul Baloche

To my fellow servants, I exhort you to pursue your dreams. But keep serving the Lord and see the surprises He has in store for you because He is a loving, wonderful God. He is magnificent and glorious.

Who compares to You?

Who set the stars in their place?

You who calmed the raging seas

That came crashing over me

Who compares to You?

You who bring the morning light

The hope of all the earth

Is rest assured in Your great love

When the evening fades

You call forth songs of joy

As the morning wakes

We Your children give You praise

You are magnificent, eternally

Wonderful, glorious, Jesus

No one ever will compare to You Jesus

– Magnificent, Hillsong

You O Lord are truly wonderful and glorious and you deserve all the praises because You are our king, You are our savior, You are Emmanuel, You are God who is with us. And we praise you and we glorify you.

Here I am, I've come to thank You

Here I am, a life You've changed

Because You gave Your life for me, You were crucified for me

How can I do anything but praise, I praise

You, You are God, You are Lord

You are all I'm living for

You are King of everything

I want my life to praise You

You are God, You are Lord

You are all I'm living for

You are King of everything

I want my life to praise You

– You, You are God

Thank you for this year Lord and thank you for the avalanche of blessings that are coming next year. I worship you my God.

*The Cercado Sisters are talented young women who won 16 gold medals in the 10th World Championship of Performing Arts in 2006. The sisters shared their touching story and talent at the recently concluded Kerygma Conference. If I’m not mistaken they serve with the Feast Quezon City.