A Personal Worship

It was casually mentioned on our way home from the Kerygma Conference last Sunday that Belle, Josie and I were going to lead the worship for our Feast Alabang Servants’ Christmas party. I thought it was a big joke. “Hmmm,” I said to myself, “Cercado Sisters* minus 1, tander version. "Tander as in matanda, get it? Better yet, translate that to the more politically correct term – “mature”.

Although being a worship leader has been flitting around the fringes of my dreams, it was not something that really called me with a passion. Unlike Niko, our youngest worship leader, who clearly heard God’s promise that he will lead worship in the Feast, there was not even a whisper to me.

Besides, I was afraid I wouldn’t be porous enough for the Spirit to fill me. I have observed the really good worship leaders to be so soaked in the Holy Spirit that it just radiates from them to the whole congregation. As for me, I can be hard-hearted and hard-headed at times.

Then I remembered the prayer I say before I write anything – for my blog or for Didache or for Halo-Halong Hālo: “Lord, let me be a straw through which your blessings or message will flow to the people who need it today.” A straw is not porous. It just needs an entry and an exit point. My entry point is my mind which God enlightens and fills with wisdom. My exit points are my hands that write. All I do is open myself up for the Holy Spirit to use me as a channel – hard head and hard heart pushed to the sides to clear the flow.

That worship leader thing was just the joke that I thought it was after all. An idea miscommunicated along the way. But God woke me up at 5:00 a.m. that following Monday (it’s a holiday, Lord!!!) prodding me to write my worship. So here’s a writer’s personal worship – written not spoken, read not heard:

To end this year, I want to praise and thank God for the many blessings He has given me, my family and my Feast Alabang family.

When I started serving at the South Feast, my life was going nowhere. You know that saying, “When God closes a door, He opens a window”? I could not relate. My prayers were unanswered for so many years. I felt that after all the doors closed there was very little light coming in – only slivers of light from under a closed door or a glow at the very far end of a tunnel.

But I kept serving through harassments and financially lean times. When I was asked to join the igive.club, I jokingly said to Becky, “Pwede ba recibo na lang ng gastos ko sa Feast ang ilagay sa envelop?” (“Can I put receipts for expenses I incurred for the Feast inside the envelop instead?")

But God is a God who cannot be out-given. This year He has thrown open many doors and windows all at the same time:

This year my elder son graduated from college and got a job.

This year my younger son’s thesis won multiple awards (yup, he just won another award for his category in Animahenasyon, the Philippine Animation Festival, and was even in contention for the grand prize).

This year my father survived a medical emergency. This year both my parents celebrated their 80th birthdays.

This year my calling as a writer began to bear fruit: I now have a blog, My B.A.G. of Miracles. I was named feature editor of the magazine I write for, I became a Didache writer. And just last month, I was also asked to write for Kerygma Magazine. As a matter of fact, the January 2011 issue features an article I wrote.

This year the Feast Alabang Center was built blessing around 1,400 people each week. We have our own place. A place we call home.

This year the number of servants grew from the twenty-four that started South Feast to almost two hundred. We now know more people to love and to be loved by.

I, personally, and we as the Feast Alabang family have many, many things to thank God for. No one deserves all our praises more than You, Jesus. Lord, receive the honor that You’re due. Receive my offering of worship.

The sun cannot compare

To the glory of Your love

There is no shadow in Your presence

No mortal man would dare

To stand before Your throne

Before the Holy One of heaven

It's only by Your blood

And it's only through Your mercy

Lord I come

I bring an offering of worship to my King

No one on earth deserves the praises that I sing

Jesus may You receive the honor that You're due

O Lord I bring an offering to You

O Lord I bring an offering to You

– Offering , Paul Baloche

To my fellow servants, I exhort you to pursue your dreams. But keep serving the Lord and see the surprises He has in store for you because He is a loving, wonderful God. He is magnificent and glorious.

Who compares to You?

Who set the stars in their place?

You who calmed the raging seas

That came crashing over me

Who compares to You?

You who bring the morning light

The hope of all the earth

Is rest assured in Your great love

When the evening fades

You call forth songs of joy

As the morning wakes

We Your children give You praise

You are magnificent, eternally

Wonderful, glorious, Jesus

No one ever will compare to You Jesus

– Magnificent, Hillsong

You O Lord are truly wonderful and glorious and you deserve all the praises because You are our king, You are our savior, You are Emmanuel, You are God who is with us. And we praise you and we glorify you.

Here I am, I've come to thank You

Here I am, a life You've changed

Because You gave Your life for me, You were crucified for me

How can I do anything but praise, I praise

You, You are God, You are Lord

You are all I'm living for

You are King of everything

I want my life to praise You

You are God, You are Lord

You are all I'm living for

You are King of everything

I want my life to praise You

– You, You are God

Thank you for this year Lord and thank you for the avalanche of blessings that are coming next year. I worship you my God.

*The Cercado Sisters are talented young women who won 16 gold medals in the 10th World Championship of Performing Arts in 2006. The sisters shared their touching story and talent at the recently concluded Kerygma Conference. If I’m not mistaken they serve with the Feast Quezon City.

Song of Praise

“God is good, all the time…”

Last Sunday’s Feast had a special format unlike the usual worship then talk that we got used to. Worship was woven into the thread of the whole talk. After Bro Arun sang some lines of the song, he asked us to partner with someone and share why God is good all the time. “What good thing did He do for you this week?”

Beside me was Louie, the son of my Caring Group mates, Rollie and Beng. He said shyly, “Tita, I can’t think of anything.” But I persisted, “it’s impossible that nothing good happened to you this week. Think of something nice that happened.” He smiled. “There was no class last Friday.” His smile got wider. “I went to two parties and had a nice time.” “There you see, “I told him, “God gave you blessings this week.” He was beaming by this time.

“He put a song of praise in this heart of mine…”

Sometimes, we need a little prodding to recall the good things that happened. Sometimes we are only grateful for the things we see, forgetting a host of other unseen blessings. But when being thankful becomes a habit, a veil is removed from our eyes and we recognize blessings instantly. Being in a state of constant gratitude is being in a constant state of praise.

“God is good all the time…”

When my turn to share came, I recalled my many blessings for the week. My elder son was given the opportunity to train as a teacher in a school he likes to work in. He has also begun to serve in the Feast – part of dream No. 1 in my Novena to God’s Love. My younger son finished his thesis. I got to watch the Citipointe Live concert for free.

“Through the darkest night, His light will shine…”

What I didn’t have time to share was the package of blessings I got that day.

• Before the Feast started, we were checking out how the stage looked. Suddenly, I felt the floor tilting under me. The good thing was I was still able to call out that I was feeling dizzy. Belle and Myrna who were standing beside me caught me in time.
• It happened when I was already in the Feast Alabang Center and not while I was driving. I also recovered quickly, served for two sessions and felt well enough to sing and dance in worship.
• My Papa came when I texted him because I was afraid to drive home. He in turn was blessed. My dizzy spell allowed him to attend the Feast which he thoroughly enjoyed.
• Standing behind them, I was treated to the beautiful image of my son hugging my father at the Grandparents’ Day pray over.

“God is good, God is good all the time.”

It’s Beginning to Feel Like Home

Our new home, the Feast Alabang Center is filling up. Last Friday, there were so many people and it wasn’t even a Sunday. There were lots of things going on all at the same time.

The Youth Ministry had dance practice. My Media Ministry had a meeting then practiced for our website launch presentation. The Kids’ Ministry also had a meeting. There were two Caring Groups present for their weekly gathering. After all that was done, the center was filled with the singing of the Music Ministry.

I felt a happy glow to see the center come alive. All the efforts of the Council, servants and faithful attendees to build this dream are beginning to bear fruit.

Voiceless Worship and A Healing Miracle

COUNTDOWN TO FEAST ALABANG CENTER OPENING

Friday, July 30, 2010 (9 days to go)

Music Ministry practice. Sharp pain in my throat as I tried to reach a high note. Uh-oh. Not good.

Sunday, Aug. 1, 2010 (7 days to go)

Last day of the South Feast in Cinema 10. Excitement in the whole theater – we’re finally moving after a week’s delay. But my excitement mixed with worry. I hope I can sing at the opening. That spike-haired bug was still frolicking in my throat at worship.

Tuesday, Aug. 3, 2010 (5 days to go)

Off to Divisoria with the other committee members to buy Music Ministry outfits. A hot, tiring day of walking, searching and haggling (a.k.a. harassing store owners to death.) After a quick shower, it was off to the South Feast Council meeting. My cough was having a field day – firecrackers in August.

Thursday, Aug. 5, 2010 (3 days to go)

Spent the whole day looking for South Feast servants’ pictures for the bulletin. I got a headache and was feverish. I missed Music Ministry practice.

Friday, Aug. 6, 2010 (2 days to go)

Second choir practice. I attended even if the infection had turned my voice from Alto 1 to Bass 2. I didn’t want to be clueless about the mechanics on opening day. So I lip synched it.

Saturday, Aug. 7, 2010 (1 day to go)

Jericho march at the center. Dust, dust and more dust greeted us. We must have been a sight. Bro Arun onstage with his guitar and about a hundred servants marching and singing – all wearing masks.

On to Music Ministry practice. Thank God it was just for program flow and blocking.

On to stage décor set-up. Thank God for the help. My Creatives Ministry angels: Jacq, Khaki, Charisse and Ernst who made the stage as dreamy as a wedding gown; Krisanne and Maan with their parents who made the festive balloons for the entrance. And of course, there were our ever-helpful brothers of the Facilities Ministry.

Sunday, Aug. 8, 2010 (D Day!!!)

All I could croak out that morning was a monotone. For the life of me, I couldn’t manage a string of notes that remotely resembled a tune. But I wanted so much to be with the choir in worshipping God on this historic day. So tune or no tune, voice or no voice, I decided to sing praises to my God. It was a worship of the heart.

Already positioned onstage, we witnessed the ribbon-cutting from afar. What a sight to see all our loyal attendees there dressed in their Sunday’s best for the occasion. This is our family celebrating the opening of our new home.

The enthronement of the Bible, the Crucifix and the Blessed Mother was so touching. It moved many people to tears. They were enthroned not just in the altar but in our proudly Catholic hearts.

Bro Arun’s talk was brilliant, hilarious and inspiring, as usual. His talk is the key that keeps people coming back for more. So we were secretly watching the city councilor who pinch-hit for the mayor at the ribbon cutting. Obviously not a charismatic member, she was stick-stiff even when the whole house was already jumping to the great worship. We wanted to see her reaction to the talk. It thawed her out. By the time Bro Arun asked us to sing after his talk, there she was with her hands up in the air like the rest of us.

And the worship! As I said, it was great in the morning session. But the worship in the afternoon was awesome. And that is an understatement. The Holy Spirit was an almost visible presence. He must have decided to sit and stay when Bishop Jesse Mercado blessed the center.

The excitement was as thick as the artificial haze we used for effects. Our beloved leader, Bro Bo Sanchez, was in the house with his family. With the Kerygma 5 Preachers. With our Light of Jesus elders. With the other Feast Builders.

So the spirit-led worship leaders (even those from the morning session joined in) and the whole Music Ministry were inspired to literally rock the stage. And the attendees rocked the rest of the center with singing and dancing. Someone remarked it felt like a KCon high (to the unfamiliar that’s the Kerygma Conference – our annual community gathering). A community elder complained with a big smile we made his knees hurt from dancing.

A POSTCRIPT, A MIRACLE

The following week, fatigue and inhaling more dust in the center during our Tuesday night Council meeting brought on a relapse. By Wednesday I was running a fever. I prayed that it will be gone by Saturday so I can attend to my duties at the Feast on Sunday. But by 10:00 Saturday night, I had a 37.6 temperature. I texted Bro Joey & Sis Myrna, my heads in Events, that I was still sick. I heard the text alert on my phone. Before reading the message, I decided to clear my nose. Pardon the grossness. It seemed all the infection clogged up in my head flowed out. I was surprised because I had spent a week almost bursting my eardrums trying to expel the blockage with no results. This time I breathed freely.

When I read the reply from Bro Joey, I got goose bumps. His text message read: “May the most precious blood of Jesus wash away the cause of your fever. May God heal you right now. In Jesus’ name we pray.” At that moment, I realized the cause of my fever had been washed out. I claimed healing and made a deal with God. If I wake up the next morning without a fever and my chest congestion cleared, I was attending the Feast.

Early Sunday morning after a restful sleep, I checked my temperature. To my disappointment the thermometer read 37.6. But wait, that was my temperature last night! I forgot to shake down the thermometer. I took it again – it was 36.7 this time.

I joyfully proclaimed God’s healing at the Feast. After that, every time, I took my temperature, I would naughtily remind God that I had boasted about His miracle. “Pag nabinat ako, mapapahiya tayo, Lord.” (If I get a relapse, we will be shame-faced, Lord.) I can see Him smiling indulgently as He keeps my temperature below 37.

God is so good. He is worthy of our worship – even if it's a voiceless one.