My Sweet Valentine

I just have to write this about my Valentine B.A.G of Miracles. And I have 2 hours and 14 minutes left before the Love Month ends so sorry if this is rushed.

Anyway, let me start with my B (blessing). My son bought 16 white roses the day before Valentine’s which he said he will give to the ladies in the school where he works. So thoughtful of him.

The best thing was he had one for me and my Mama too. Now, isn’t that the sweetest thing. I thought we weren’t included in his list.

My A (achievement) and G (good done for others) are in one package – I cooked a special dinner for my family. Achievement because I successfully cooked 3 new dishes. Well, let me put it this way - according to the Board of Judges, the Sausage Pasta was approved for “Party Menu”. The Chicken Chardon needs a tad more flavor but it was okay in the look and feel department.

The Bacon Wrapped Dynamite got mixed reviews. Papa and younger son liked it. Elder son’s comment was, “When did we ever like hot & spicy food?” Mama and I ate it with extreme caution considering the “accident” I had preparing it.

Word of advice: NEVER EVER AS IN EVER handle the seeds of the jalapeño pepper with bare hands. Nobody told me I needed to wear industrial gloves to take the seeds out (or to simply use a spoon and knife). Well, now I know, after getting my hands burnt while preparing that dynamite dish. I felt like my hands were on fire for about 2 hours.

But it was all worth it as my family enjoyed the dinner. It was a romantic-less way to spend Valentine’s Day but it was love-filled nevertheless.

Overwhelmed? Train Duplicates

Guideline # 8: Raise leaders after you

My world has just been shaken and stirred. Things are moving at such a fast pace. ZOOM, the event name of the Light of Jesus Family Leadership Assembly on Jan. 28, 2012, is such an apt description for the way things are moving in my ministry life.

Activities in Feast Alabang are on overdrive. There’s A.S.K. (our Lenten Recollection which will be held in Bellevue on April 5 to 7); there’s Loveoke (our post Valentine activity this coming Saturday); there’s a million and one formation activities and meetings and tasks.

And here’s the clincher: I’ve just been asked to handle the Events for our latest session, the Saturday Feast Alabang (SFA), that will be launched on March 10. Overwhelmed? You bet I am. Conflicted? That I am too, because I just love my FAMMily (Feast Alabang Media Ministry) and I would hate to leave them.

But as servants, one of the important virtues we were taught is obedience. If this is where God calls, I must follow. Besides, this will be in support of my Pillar heads who have also been very supportive of us.

After committing to obey the Lord’s leading, He proved once again that He cannot be out-given. I got 3 blessings in return. First, I get to stay with my FAMMily. Having efficient and capable team heads granted me the facility to just oversee the ministry. They can competently manage their own teams.

With my FAMMily Team Heads

The next blessing I got was a fresh dose of passion to serve. I must confess that this new assignment came in the throes of a burn-out. Lately, conflicts and fatigue have been taxing me. I felt it was time to balance my life and focus on the other areas that have been neglected.

When I was first asked to head Events, I said this prayer: “Lord, if this is where you want me to go, I will obey but please renew my passion for service.” The morning after our meeting to discuss the SFA among other things, the Lord answered my prayer. Like a dam that broke, ideas overflowed bringing with it excitement that refreshed my dry soul.

My third blessing is the inspiration to write a new guideline for my Manual for Servant Leaders Who Insanely Love to Serve God Despite Harassments and Frustrations. Guideline #8: Raise leaders after you.

These two principles that I applied with my Media Ministry team heads gave me the confidence to step back:

1. Trust the leaders you are tasked to train.

2. Take a risk – you will never know how good they can handle things unless you give them the chance.

These are principles I plan to take with me in my new assignment with a new set of leaders to work with. There are no perfect leaders so things will not always be smooth. But we have a perfect God who makes everything work for the good of those who serve Him.

Bo Sanchez telling LOJ leaders to be like the smallest Matryoshka doll and raise up

bigger and better next generation leaders.

The Saturday Feast Alabang will be held at the Feast Alabang Center, 2nd Level, X-site Entrance, Festival Mall (right above National Bookstore). Session starts at 6:00 pm. Plans for anticipated mass at 7:30 pm are being finalized.

Photos courtesy of Emy Cañete and IC de Guzman.

Discordant Notes

“Discord is the devil’s tool to prevent service for God from being delivered.”

This message clanged like a gong ripping through the quiet of my prayer time. It was a call to action and God’s prodding for me to write another guideline.

(Yes, Lord, I get it already. You let these things happen to hustle me into writing.)

I ignored His first poke to write this blog. The blessing of cool-headed and supportive leaders stilled turbulent waters so there was not much compulsion to write. Besides I had just written #6. God usually lets me catch my breath before He zaps me with the next guideline.

But then He sent a second poke, no erase that…call it a shake that rattled my teeth a bit (when I have to forego my rare chance of going to the gym, it’s a teeth-rattling experience). Plans for the gym were scrapped as I needed to exercise my peacemaking abilities instead.

I had to step in right away because it happened before. It was probably my fault it recurred because I was too busy to really sit down and talk with the parties involved right after the last incident.

Lesson learned: resolve issues as early as possible. When resolution is delayed or the conflict is glossed over, there is a danger that bad feelings will fester. Discord will erupt and prevent people from working together to do God’s appointed task.

John Maxwell cited St. Paul’s message from Philippians 4:2 in his Leadership devotional to stress the importance of teamwork: “I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord.” Maxwell said,” The term he uses connotes harmony. Singing in harmony doesn’t mean singing in unison. Players should play different positions on a team. Harmony means their efforts complement the efforts of others, rather than conflict with them.”

But even with the best intentions and hearts for service, discord will erupt in a community because of the human factor. There is no perfect community with perfect servants. It is then the servant leader’s task to spot discordant notes early on and take measures to restore harmony ASAP.

And there you have Guideline #7 for my Manual for Servant Leaders Who Insanely Love to Serve God Despite Harassments and Frustrations: Guard against discord by nipping it in the bud.

Plan, Prepare, Pray

This is supposed to be Guideline #6 for my Manual for Servant Leaders Who Insanely Love to Serve God Despite Harassments and Frustrations. But for the moment it will be a theory or a tentative guideline at best. I need to observe where it goes before I declare this to be a solid principle.

Let me explain.

When I took up my Masters in Entrepreneurship we were taught that for a business strategy to be successful one has to make plans, set objectives, assess the resources (human and financial) needed and set targets. That’s in a nutshell of course (I have to clarify or my professors might take back my diploma if they think that’s all I learned).

In “Gatherings on Fire”, a seminar I attended given by Bro Arun Gogna, it was also stressed that planning and preparation are important. The first step he gave when preparing for a big event is to brainstorm. He advised that we “gather leaders or representatives from each ministry that will implement the Big Idea” twelve months before the date. A timetable is used to map specific tasks that have to be done before the big day.

Both of these sources of knowledge stress that we have to PLAN and PREPARE for any project to be effective. I included PRAY because as a people of faith who belong to a community, servant leaders must pray for even the tiniest task they have to undertake.

Something as innocuous as a Christmas party proves this guideline to be sound. I’m sure all the 4 teams in our community prayed for success. We all planned and prepared for the presentation and games. But the Blue Team won because they planned more and prepared more. They were ready with glittery name tags and labels; they had more props and costumes; they met more often; and they probably practiced more too.

These form the foundation of my theory. What throws me off is that there are events or activities that fall short on the planning and preparation side but can be rated as successful: the Holy Spirit visibly moves the attendees, things come together in the nick of time, servants are suddenly available on that date and many more happenings that obviously took place because of prayers.

So my dilemma for Guideline #6 is: do I state that “Servant leaders must plan, prepare and pray before undertaking big activities” or do I say “Servant leaders must pray before undertaking big activities and just throw proper planning and preparation to the wind hoping they will land on God’s lap (Bahala na si Lord)”?

I will hazard a guess that planning and preparation are still very important because when we are ready, more blessings will come. To use a story Bro Arun mentioned in his article in the Feast Alabang bulletin last Sunday in a different light, the man who brought a truck was able to get more food than the man who brought a sack. Both were blessed, but one got immensely more because he was better prepared.

Let me get back to you on this guideline after I find out without a doubt which statement God and time favored.

* Thanks to IC de Guzman for the Blue Team photos.

Prayer for a Balanced Life

To my family and friends and to all those who are blessed by this blog even in a small way: A Grace-filled and Prosperous New Year! Thank you for sparing time to read my thoughts and reflections about the crazy, wonderful, sometimes frustrating, oftentimes enlightening events in my life.

Here I am at the start of the year feeling like I have two pairs of eyes. One pair at the back of my head looking back to the year that was. With gratefulness I see the Lord’s abundant blessings to me, my family and my Feast family.

He has given us good health and provisions. He even gifted us last year with special treats. My elder son landed in the top ten in his licensure exam. My younger son got a new job just as the year was about to close. And I began writing for a magazine that recently won a Catholic Mass Media Award. (Yey for Kerygma! I have a reflection about that just bursting to be written.)

And the other pair is where they normally are gazing ahead to the coming year with hope that more dreams will come true. They are also looking at ways to apply the lessons learned in the past year.

One challenge that I grappled with last year was how to cram everything into a 24 hour day. I wish there was a 48 hour version of those days. It seemed like many things on my to-do list were all needed yesterday.

Often, time for my family and my health regimen were sacrificed. Even work schedules were sometimes shredded to itsy-bitsy pieces. So this year I’m praying for a balanced life so that each area will get equal or equitable attention.

If you feel that your timetable is as chaotic as mine, pray this with me:

When my schedule gets roiled in a turbulent sea,

I must stay afloat to get where I want to be.

Help me Lord to keep my life on an even keel.

All areas steered by your steady hand on the wheel.

My family I put at the top of my list.

When more pressing things beckon help me to resist.

My body is your temple, a gift you have knit.

Grant me a firmer resolve to keep myself fit.

My work is your way to shower me with treasures.

Keep me diligent and far from useless pleasures.

My service is how I bring others to know you.

Give me a loving heart for this task to pursue.

Throw in friends and some hobbies to this scale I must balance.

Now you see why I need you Lord to give me your guidance.

I pray that you’ll help me end this year with joy and success

‘Cause I breezed through my myriad of roles with minimal stress.

There Must Be a Better Way to Celebrate Christmas

My son getting pulled over for running a YELLOW light by a PEATC cop angling for payback for working on Christmas Day was the last straw. It capped a month of barreling through a sea of Divisoria shoppers while weight lifting two or three or four heavy bags; wrapping gifts (I didn’t make it on time), cooking and preparing costumes till the dawn mass bells rang; and racking my sleep deprived brain for scripts.

I am now officially a non-fan of the Christmas season.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not joining Scrooge and saying, “Bah, humbug!” to Christmas. I’m not swearing off all the trappings and the decorations (I would love to dress up my home more if only I had the time).

I still love the reason for this season deeply and passionately. I’m still grateful to the Lord for the great gift of His Son.

What I don’t like is pressure and hassle that the celebration brings. Do we even remember who it’s all for in the mad rush to buy gifts, in practicing for Christmas presentations and in budgeting for the one hundred and one charitable causes that mushroom in December?

What I’m saying is there must be a better way to celebrate Jesus’ birthday. I’m looking for something more intimate and serene. A celebration where He is the important one. A celebration where He does not get substituted by other people and events.

So here I sit in the quiet of the 26th – a lull before the revelry of the New Year brings on another hectic round of wrapping gifts (yup, still doing that), partying and cooking – pondering on how I can honor the celebrant properly.

Maybe next year I can celebrate Christmas on the Feast of the Annunciation. After all life begins in the womb and this was when Mary was told she will be the mother of the Son of God – “And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name Him Jesus.” (Luke 1:31)

That will certainly be stress-less as only Jesus and I will be in His party. I can go on a personal retreat so we can really hang out and talk.

As for the Christmas gifts, I still have to give my family gifts on Christmas because the children look forward to that in our gatherings. But as for my friends and people I work or serve with, I want to think of a creative way to get around that.

I can give my Christmas gifts on their birthdays. That way my gift giving will be spaced out throughout the year and I can spend more time honoring the celebrant in December. I can also use the extra time to savor the memory of each blessing He has gifted me with for the year.

Or maybe I can pick another special holy day to give out my Christmas gifts. Let me think about that. I should come up with something by New Year’s Day because my fondest wish is to be able to enjoy the Christmas season next year and be a fan again.

Sticks and Stones

I’m sure you’re familiar with this famous reply to taunts and threats: “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”? This may be true in the physical sense but words can harm in other ways.

Speak God’s Words. That’s the title of talk 2 of the Transformed series at the Feast. The talk last Sunday (Dec. 4) reminded me of the ways that my words can destroy other people or how I can be hurt by some thoughtless remark. When words are used to complain, criticize and ridicule they become instruments that can shatter a person’s worth, reputation and self esteem.

There was an incident that happened when I was just starting to serve as emcee. Someone remarked that I was not good enough for the job for the simple reason that I happened to have a uterus and my voice can only go as low as Alto 2. In short, only men are fit to be emcees. I was floored by the chauvinism.

Not only that, the critic proceeded to rattle off the names of every Tom, Dick and Harry who are more qualified…to my face. That almost shattered my ego and almost stopped me from hosting any event ever again. I said almost because I happen to have skin about an inch thick (that thick) on my face (in Tagalog we call it kapalmuks) so it didn’t bother me too much. I was okay after about a month. ;) Other people who are more sensitive might have quit on the spot. Imagine the harm done if this was said to a young person at the brink of launching a longed-for career.

During the talk we were exhorted to use our words for good instead. They must be used to compliment, correct in a loving manner and refresh. Let me share something I wrote in my journal almost a year ago to illustrate my point.

Jan.14, 2011

Giving Delight

“Listen, for I will speak noble things; And the opening of my lips will reveal right things.” – Proverbs 8:6

As I was preparing the articles I have to bring to the writing seminar I’m attending tomorrow, it dawned on me that writing is not the greatest gift that the Lord has given me. My greatest gift is delighting people with the articles that I write about them or their businesses. I make them happy because I highlight the good that they do.

One of the articles I’m bringing is about the controversial Vicki Belo. When it was posted in Proudly Filipina.com, someone commented to my partner that my series of articles managed to bring out her good points.

Another article in my portfolio is the one I wrote about my father for his 80th birthday. I was feeling a bit down on his birthday because I could not afford to splurge on a grand party for him. All we could manage was a nice, classy dinner in Alba’s for the family. After the occasion, I wrote an article for Insight Magazine extolling his virtues as a man of God, a family man, a friend and a crusading lawyer. He was ecstatic when it was published. He must have given out several dozens to friends and colleagues. That, more than the fancy dinner, was the best gift I could give him.

Words must be used to give life and hope rather than to kill dreams. In the wrong mouth, words can be deadlier than a sword.