Sticks and Stones

I’m sure you’re familiar with this famous reply to taunts and threats: “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”? This may be true in the physical sense but words can harm in other ways.

Speak God’s Words. That’s the title of talk 2 of the Transformed series at the Feast. The talk last Sunday (Dec. 4) reminded me of the ways that my words can destroy other people or how I can be hurt by some thoughtless remark. When words are used to complain, criticize and ridicule they become instruments that can shatter a person’s worth, reputation and self esteem.

There was an incident that happened when I was just starting to serve as emcee. Someone remarked that I was not good enough for the job for the simple reason that I happened to have a uterus and my voice can only go as low as Alto 2. In short, only men are fit to be emcees. I was floored by the chauvinism.

Not only that, the critic proceeded to rattle off the names of every Tom, Dick and Harry who are more qualified…to my face. That almost shattered my ego and almost stopped me from hosting any event ever again. I said almost because I happen to have skin about an inch thick (that thick) on my face (in Tagalog we call it kapalmuks) so it didn’t bother me too much. I was okay after about a month. ;) Other people who are more sensitive might have quit on the spot. Imagine the harm done if this was said to a young person at the brink of launching a longed-for career.

During the talk we were exhorted to use our words for good instead. They must be used to compliment, correct in a loving manner and refresh. Let me share something I wrote in my journal almost a year ago to illustrate my point.

Jan.14, 2011

Giving Delight

“Listen, for I will speak noble things; And the opening of my lips will reveal right things.” – Proverbs 8:6

As I was preparing the articles I have to bring to the writing seminar I’m attending tomorrow, it dawned on me that writing is not the greatest gift that the Lord has given me. My greatest gift is delighting people with the articles that I write about them or their businesses. I make them happy because I highlight the good that they do.

One of the articles I’m bringing is about the controversial Vicki Belo. When it was posted in Proudly Filipina.com, someone commented to my partner that my series of articles managed to bring out her good points.

Another article in my portfolio is the one I wrote about my father for his 80th birthday. I was feeling a bit down on his birthday because I could not afford to splurge on a grand party for him. All we could manage was a nice, classy dinner in Alba’s for the family. After the occasion, I wrote an article for Insight Magazine extolling his virtues as a man of God, a family man, a friend and a crusading lawyer. He was ecstatic when it was published. He must have given out several dozens to friends and colleagues. That, more than the fancy dinner, was the best gift I could give him.

Words must be used to give life and hope rather than to kill dreams. In the wrong mouth, words can be deadlier than a sword.